


In Sickness and in Health

by writing_with_a_passion16



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Drugs, M/M, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-18
Updated: 2014-09-17
Packaged: 2018-02-17 20:36:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2322374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writing_with_a_passion16/pseuds/writing_with_a_passion16
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick and Jason try to stop the newest hallucinogen from hitting the streets of Bludhaven. However, not everything goes according to plan.</p>
<p>"After a moment Dick realized he hadn’t seen the main dealer. He turned around and saw the dealer standing over Jason, a bottle of the liquid drug in his hand.</p>
<p>'I just poured this into your friends wound. You have five minutes before it gets to his head. You want me, come get me,' The dealer smiled and took off, throwing the bottle to the ground."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hallucinations

Dick followed Jason silently through an empty apartment building. They had received word that a new drug had hit the streets and was being manufactured here. This drug made the user see images, not like ecstasy or LSD; the user sees their worst fears. There were reports that users have died from heart attacks and suicide inflicted from so much trauma all at once.

Jason signaled to Dick that he saw their targets.

Dick nodded, ready to kick some ass.

Jason pulled out his guns and slid into the room, Dick on his heels. “Alright, assholes, time to meet your maker.”

Dick rolled his eyes, knowing Jason was mocking him for his witty fight commentary.

“Who the fuck are you two, Jokers?”

Dick noticed Jason wince at the name. 

“You got it all wrong, Joker’s the fucked up homicidal clown. We’re the good guys, at least in our eyes.” Jason took a step closer, pulling back the safeties on his guns. “So, if you admit to selling your fucked up drugs, my colleague and I won’t bash your brains in.”

Dick looked around while Jason argued back and forth with the lead dealer. He saw tables all covered in different substances. There was a table covered in a powder that was light blue in color. Another had liquids, all varying colors. The last one had a variety of pills and tablets all in light blue wrapping. Dick took a step closer to the table covered in powder. He saw a small bag with a skull and crossbones on it. He picked it up and examined it closely, trying to figure out what was in it.

“Nightwing, don’t touch that! Fuck!”

Dick spun around and saw Jason fall to the ground, clutching his knee. Dick threw the bag down and sprinted across the room. As he pulled his escrima sticks from his back, he threw a roundhouse kiss, knocking some guy in the jaw. When his escrima sticks were in his hand, he started reflecting bullets and knocking dealers to the ground. After a moment Dick realized he hadn’t seen the main dealer. He turned around and saw the dealer standing over Jason, a bottle of the liquid drug in his hand.

“I just poured this into your friends wound. You have five minutes before it gets to his head. You want me, come get me,” The dealer smiled and took off, throwing the bottle to the ground.

Dick looked at Jason who was breathing hard, his hands still clasped over the bullet wound in his knee. Dick screamed in anger and ran to Jason, letting the dealer get away. He put his escrima sticks back before sliding beside Jason.

“Go!” Jason growled.

Dick’s hand flew to his ear, “Red Robin? Hood’s been hit. Both,” Dick whispered, noticing the blood seeping from Jason’s fingers and the bottle beside his leg. “We’re abandoning the mission. Lead dealer escaped, heading down fifth and main. Nightwing, out.”

Dick slid his arm under Jason and helped him to his feet.

“You’re such an idiot.”

“You come first!” Dick snapped, pulling Jason up and supporting his weight. Dick started dragging Jason, “We’re not far from home. We won’t make it to the cave, but Tim’ll bring some supplies to bind the wound.”

“Shouldn’t you have done that first?” Jason whispered, his eyelids growing heavy.

“You know I’m not the best doctor.”

“Dick,” Jason whispered, his free land sliding off his leg. He was growing tired, his vision going foggy.

Dick looked at Jason with concern, “We’re two alley ways away, can you make it?”

“Why aren’t you fighting that guy?”

“Because Damian called 'dibs',” Dick said with sarcasm. “I love you, Jay, and I’m not leaving you.”

“You love me?” Jason asked before passing out.

Dick grunted as all of Jason’s weight suddenly fell to his shoulder. He looked back and noticed the trail of blood. “I hope the neighbors won’t mind,” Dick grumbled before heading to their apartment building. Dick looked over at Jason who was still bleeding, his head leaning forward, his curls wet with sweat.

Dick grunted as he shifted Jason so he could carry him up the fire escape. Dick sighed in relief when he saw they had left the bedroom window open. He squeezed himself and Jason through before laying Jason down on the bed.

Dick shed his mask and reached up to pull Jason’s away. Dick didn’t bother with his Kevlar as he rushed to the bathroom to find towels, gauze, and rubbing alcohol. Dick’s arm was reaching into the medicine cabinet as a blood curdling scream came from the bedroom.

Dick dropped everything and ran back to the bedroom. Jason was arched on the bed, his hands curled over his chest. He was screaming between gasps of air. His face was flushed and covered in sweat.

Dick rushed over and straddled Jason’s waist, forcing him back to the mattress.

Jason’s body arched up again, nearly knocking Dick over. His screams were replaced momentarily with painful grunts.

Dick reached over to the nightstand and pulled out his phone, “Tim, where the hell are you?”

“Entering Bludhaven limits. Why, what’s wrong?”

Dick pulled the phone away from his ear so Tim could hear Jason’s screams.

“The drug affects the part of your brain that holds memory, even memories forgotten in Jason’s case.”

“Do you think he’s remembering something about after he came back from the dead?” Dick thrust his hips back over Jason’s before they both rolled off the bed.

“Possibly. He could also be having a nightmare that’s realer than anything imaginable. Try to talk to him; he should still be able to hear you. If you can calm him, you might reduce his risk of a heart attack. Even if you can’t calm him completely, get his heart rate down. I’ll be there shortly.”

Dick hung up and threw his phone across the mattress. One of his hands ran soothingly through Jason’s hair, the other curled itself around one of Jason’s hands. “Jay--Jay, it’s okay.” Dick felt stupid, it was not okay. Jason was in pain, bleeding profusely, and seeing things that weren’t there. Dick wasn’t sure what would be more beneficial to Jason, covering the bullet wound, or siting and talking.

Dick thought for a minute, “Jay, do you remember our engagement? You remember that, don’t you? You had just come back and we spent two years catching up and everything. You purposed to me in the most intimate way. You always see elaborate proposals in movies. But, you just lit a bunch of candles and purposed in our shitty little apartment.”

Dick knew this wasn’t helping. Jason was still screaming and writhing beneath Dick. His hand had curled so tightly around Dick’s that his nails broke the skin.

“Okay, wedding vows? ‘Jason Peter Todd, you have been everything to me. You have been my best friend, my rock, my lover, my partner.’”

Jason’s hand loosened slightly and his screams turned to murmurs and grunts.

“Remember I told you some story in my vows about how when we were kids we imagined flying away together, two lone robins? Look at us know, it kind of happened.”

“Dick?”

“In here!” Dick shouted to Tim.

Tim walked in and stopped in his tracks after seeing Jason, “It’s worse than I imagined it would be.”

“Try telling that to him!” Dick yelped as Jason’s body arched again and his screaming resumed. Jason’s hands started pushing Dick away, his nails clawing Dick’s skin. Dick’s hands pressed Jason’s to the mattress.

“Keep him down; I’m going to flush the wound.”

“How long—“ Dick grunted as Jason’s good leg hit Dick’s back, “—will this last?”

Tim shook his head, “I don’t know how much they gave him.”

Tim sat on his knees and tore the bottom of Jason’s pant leg. 

Dick looked over his shoulder at a hole through Jason’s knee. The hole was covered in blood, but something didn’t look right. The blood looked like it was covered in a glaze.

“His body's trying to get rid of the drug,” Tim said, catching Dick’s worried glance. Tim’s hands worked quickly, cleaning the blood away. Jason’s foot came up towards Tim face. “Hold him!” Tim shouted over Jason’s painful scream.

“Working on it!” Dick gasped, trying to push all his weight onto Jason. Dick grunted, wishing he’d lifted more weights and did less gymnastics when he was at the gym.

“Try talking to him. He’s gotten worse since I got here.”

“Okay, uh, Jay? Hey, we need you to calm down okay? You said ‘in sickness and in health’ I know you’re the sick one, but you’re in control right now. Babe, I need you to try and calm down as best you can.”

Jason’s eyes closed slightly and his hand reached out. “Mom” he whispered before painful screams filled the room again.

“He’s dreaming about his death,” Dick realized.

“Keep talking, Dick!” Tim barked. He was digging around for the bullet, lodged in Jason’s leg.

“Jason, remember when we were kids and you attend your first Wayne Gala? You were so upset that you had to wear a tie and a tux. God, I thought that was the sexiest thing ever. Remember how I had to get you drunk to stop complaining?” Dick smirked slightly, “That was a fun night.”

Tim raised an eyebrow, “You’re supposed to calm his heart rate. If he gets hard, his heart rate spikes.”

“Not helping my thought process, Timmy!”

Jason settled down for several moments, his screams died to murmurs and his body relaxed.

“Maybe he just needed a reminder of the first time we had sex,” Dick looked at Tim who was now sticking a needle into Jason’s leg to flush the wound.

“To much info,” Tim whispered, concentrating on his work.

“Dickie?” Jason whispered.

Dick’s hand touched Jason’s face, “Hey, I’m here.”

“Dickie?” Jason asked again, his eyebrows furrowing together. He was looking right at Dick, but it seemed almost like he didn’t register Dick’s existence. He screamed again, this time not in pain, but in agony--screams that only accompanied heartbreak. Tears were streaming down his face and he kept shouting Dick’s name.

“Jason, Jason, baby, I’m right here. None of that’s real, I’m still here.” Dick didn’t have to be in Jason’s head to know what his worst fears are. He knew Jason feared his death, and Dick’s death. Nothing else could penetrate such a stoic man.

“You really need to hold him down now.”

“I’m trying!” Dick yelled in frustration. He looked back and saw Tim holding a stitching needle. He looked back at Jason who was a mess of tears, sweat, and agony. Dick leaned down to whisper in Jason’s ear, “Jason, I know you can hear me. I’m not sure what to say to you. You’re so strong, don’t cave into the fear. Listen to my voice; ignore whatever you’re seeing. Like I said, I can only do so much for you. Please, Jason, keep fighting.”

“Done,” Tim announced, wrapping a layer of gauze around Jason’s knee. “He’ll need physical therapy for sure, though.”

“That’s the least of my worries.”

Tim grabbed his laptop and started typing. “Since the drug is in Jason’s blood stream it’ll take hours to flush out. As bad as it sounds; it was good he was wounded, it gave the poisoned blood a place to escape.”

“How many hours?”

“I’d say two at the most. Do you want me to stay?” 

Dick shook his head, noticing Jason was starting to calm down, “He bled more than you think. I can handle it from here.”

Tim nodded, cleaning up his medical supplies, “Call me if he gets worse.”

“Yes, Dr. Drake.”

Dick had spent the night with Jason’s head in his lap. He refused to sleep, not that he would’ve been able to anyway with Jason’s screams. After about an hour, Jason passed out again. Dick expected it; he’d want to shut down if he was experiencing what Jason was feeling.

Dick’s fingers twirled through Jason’s curls. He sang to Jason after running out of things to say. He was sure singing was a better method to calm Jason’s heart beat that reciting exciting events in their life.

“Dick?” Jason began to stir. His eyes slowly opened, fluttering open before closing again. He whimpered in pain.

“Hey, how you feeling?” Dick’s hands gently stroked Jason’s cheeks.

Jason raised his hand weakly before letting it fall to his chest.

Dick reached down and laced their fingers together.

“Dick,” Jason whispered in relief.

Dick leaned down and kissed Jason’s forehead, “You made it.”

Jason didn’t say anything. Dick could see on his face he wasn’t quite back to reality. He looked like he was waking up from anesthesia.

“Dick?” Jason’s eyes opened again and looked up. They were red and hazy, sunken back into his skull. “What happened?”

“You were shot and then drugged.”

“I always thought that if I was drugged I’d wake up in a strange bedroom naked.”

“Well, your sarcasm is back.”

“I’m not dreaming, am I?”

Dick shook his head, “No. You’re not dreaming.”

Jason sighed in relief, “You may not be a good doctor, but you’re one hell of a nurse.”

Dick’s eyebrows furrowed together, “You remember that conversation?”

Jason closed his eyes, trying to nod. “I remember everything. I remember you talking to me, Tim putting me back together. Now, that’s a hell of a doctor. I didn’t feel a thing,” Jason whispered, as if he were telling a secret while drunk.

“I’m glad you pulled through,” Dick whispered, unsure of what he should say. He didn’t want to tell Jason that the past twelve hours were the worst of his life. How could he, when Jason just witnessed every traumatic event he’d experienced or feared.

“’In sickness and in health’,” Jason whispered again before closing his eyes and weakly smiling.


	2. Fears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason goes to see one doctor for his knee and another for his mind. He's broken and he knows it. His shrink gives him some advice, but that isn't the glue he needs to get back to himself.

“So let me get this straight. You managed to find a hunting ground on the coast of New York where you shot yourself?” The doctor took off his glasses and looked at Jason.

“Actually, I did it. I told him not to give the gun to me. It was my first time, you know,” Dick faked a smile.

“Right,” The doctor still sounded skeptical. “And who did you say treated your wound?”

“Our brother—I mean my brother,” Dick caught himself.

The doctor raised an eyebrow, “Is he a doctor?”

Dick shook his head, “Going into the field of business.”

“Shame, he did a rather good job.” The doctor sighed and looked between Dick and Jason, “Well, I’m not sure I believe you, but I will recommend you to a physical therapist. From your MRI and X-Ray, it shows the bullet tore your patella tendon and lodged itself in your knee cap.” The doctor was scrolling through his computer. “My guess is that you’ll need a solid year of therapy, but I’ll let the specialist decide.”

The doctor wrote a number down on a card, “She’s one of the best therapists in the state. Anything else you want to discuss?”

Jason cleared his throat, “Dick, can you go get the car warmed up?” Jason tried to ignore Dick’s worried glance. “It sucks Gotham gets cold so early.”

Dick squeezed Jason’s hand, “Sure, babe.”

When Dick left, Jason sighed, “He worries.”

The doctor nodded, “Clearly.”

“Something happened recently that makes my knee seem like a scrape. I wake up every night screaming. When I’m alone I get so paranoid the only thing that calms be down is to try and sleep, but I can’t even do that.”

“What happened that makes you feel this way?”

Jason shook his head, “I’d rather not say.”

“Everything you say is confidential.”

“I know, I really do. Anyway, I know it worries my husband. Our anniversary is coming up and I’d like to stop screaming and crying by then. Could you recommend me to a therapist?”

The doctor pointed to the card in Jason’s hand, “Like I said, she’s good.”

Jason shook his head, “I mean a psychologist.”

“She has a degree in psychology. She was a fantastic psychologist until she realized she wanted to do more. She went back to school and got her degree in physical therapy. I think she can help you more than I ever could.”

Jason nodded, “Thank you.”

The doctor gave a weak smile, “No problem. Now that your husband isn’t here, is there anything else you want to tell me?”

Jason shook his head, knowing the doctor wanted an answer to Jason’s knee and psychological problems.

“Okay, well I hope you get the help you need.”

Jason nodded and hobbled onto his crutches. He went out to the car where Dick was waiting. “Hey,” Jason smiled.

Dick opened Jason’s car door, “Everything okay?”

“Fine, just had a question.”

Dick only nodded, knowing prying wouldn’t help.

~*~*~*~

“Do you want me to go in with you?” Dick asked as they stood outside of the physical therapist’s office.”

Jason shook his head, “I’ll be okay.”

Dick nodded, clearly worried. “I’ll be across the street writing up a report for Bruce. Call me when you’re done?” Dick was fidgeting with Jason’s jacket, straightening it out.

Jason nodded and leaned forward to kiss Dick, “Only if you get me something.”

“Black?” Dick asked, his fingers moving over Jason’s chest.

Jason nodded, “I’ll be about an hour.”

“Mr. Todd?”

Both Dick and Jason looked up. Dick smiled, realizing the woman was calling for the other Mr. Todd. “Be good,” Dick smiled, kissing Jason again.

“I’ll try,” Jason looked over his shoulder as Dick started walking away.

The woman smiled, “I’m Dr. King. Your primary doctor told me you were shot in the knee?”

Jason nodded, “I was stupid enough to let my husband hold a gun with the safety off.”

Dr. King smiled, “A city guy?”

Jason nodded, “You could say that.”

“Well, I don’t want to do too much until you’re almost heeled. Otherwise, we could risk injuring the knee more. I do, however, want to start smaller exercises, so your muscles won’t be stiff and unused when you are heeled. For right know, I want to focus on your hips and your ankles. Those muscles run all up and down your leg. We can work the lower and higher parts of the muscle without straining the torn part. Have a seat,” Dr. King extended her arm towards a chair.

Jason sat, wincing as he bent his knee slightly.

“Let’s start with something easy, and hopefully painless. Just rotate your ankle clockwise. If you feel pain, that’s normal, but I need you to tell me as soon as you feel it and if it gets worse.”

Jason nodded, slowly rotating his ankle.

“Good.” 

“My doctor said you had a degree in psychology.”

“I do. I got bored sitting in an office all day. This way, I can still help people cope from emotional and physical trauma all at once. Plus, I can move around all day, which is nice since I’m a restless person.”

Jason was quiet, unsure of how to talk about his problems. He usually kept everything bottled up. That was one thing he loved about Dick. Dick respected Jason’s privacy, but was always there when Jason was ready to open up. How was he supposed to open up to a stranger when he couldn’t even talk to his own husband?

Dr. King looked up, “Is there something you wanted to talk about?”

Jason nodded, “Actually yes.”

“Rotate your ankle the other way. Okay, well everything you say remains completely confidential. I don’t even take notes so no one has access to your records unless they get inside my head.” Dr. King smiled, “By the way, call me Lucy. I think a first name basis makes therapy sessions easier.”

“Okay, well, um,” Jason was trying to think of a way to tell Lucy about the drugs. “I was at the bar the other night. It was before I went camping with my husband. I was with a friend, but he left early. I stayed to finish my beer, but I guess that was a bad choice. Someone must have snuck something in it.”

“Do you know what? I’ve heard of men being victims of roofies.”

Jason shook his head, “No. My husband is in police work and told me that there's something new out there. It’s a hallucinogen, but you see your worst fears, dreams, memories rather than unicorns and stars. That is definitely what it was. I saw my worst fears become reality. I came home screaming bloody murder. I could hear everything my husband was saying to me, I was completely aware. Only, I couldn’t see him, at least not the real him. I saw him dying right in front of me. I saw him bleeding in my arms even though he was right beside me telling me it was okay.”

Lucy’s eyebrows furrowed together, “So you were trapped in your head? All of your senses worked, except for you sight?”

Jason nodded, “I saw everything that had ever scared me. I saw my mom die. I saw someone murdering me. Ever since, I can’t sleep. I’m so afraid that when I close my eyes I’ll see all of that again.”

Lucy gently touched Jason’s foot, “I’m just going to bend your foot up and down. You can keep talking.”

“When I do fall asleep I always wake up screaming.”

“What event do you see?”

“Dick dying.”

“Is that your husband?”

Jason nodded, “I always thought my worst fear was something that happened to me when I was a child. I was beaten nearly to death.” Jason shook his head, “I realize now that I could handle that, I have before. I just can’t handle losing him every time I close my eyes.”

“Does he know what you are seeing?”

Jason shrugged, “Probably, he knows me enough to assume things.”

Lucy sighed, “Honestly, I wish I could say something, give you advice. I’ve just never heard of something like this. I’ve dealt with patients who have extreme paranoia, but this is a step above that.”

Jason took a deep breath, trying to hide how badly he wanted to cry. He could scream all day long, but crying was something he refused to do unless he was alone.

“I think it’s a good thing you’re only seeing one event. I’m sure you don’t think so, but this means you’ve isolated your biggest fear. Sometimes coming to terms with knowing your worst fears can make them worse. People who know and understand they’re afraid of spiders usually become paranoid of seeing a spider everywhere they look. Other times, the strongest people can think of their fear and conquer it.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It takes a remarkable person to suffer like you have. It takes a stronger person to realize how badly their fears affect them. It’s how people deal with that fear that separates the remarkable and the strong. My best advice to you is to embrace your fear. If you do that, it may not seem so scary anymore.”

“It’s not like I’m afraid of seeing a spider in my room. I’m afraid of losing the only person I’ve ever loved. How am I supposed to come to terms with that?”

Lucy shrugged, “You said that’s what you see when you close your eyes. Perhaps the more you see it, the more you’ll accept it. Once you accept it, you can face it as if you are only facing a test you knew was coming. You can study for that test, and get it over with, or you can procrastinate and never ever take that test. It’s all up to you and if you’re willing to do whatever it takes to forget those memories.”

A single tear escaped Jason, “I want to be strong. I need to be strong, for him. I just don’t know if I can.”

“Earlier you said you could deal with being beaten up because you know what that pain feels like. This hallucinogen is that first glance of pain you feel upon Dick’s death. Maybe realizing you already know that pain can help you get over it.” Lucy smiled at Jason, “Anything else you want to get off your chest.”

“What if I can’t get over it?”

“When you wake up screaming, look at him. Look at him and know he is still there. You can be scared all you want, but it’s all in your head. Sometimes you need to get out of your head and into the real world. You can be scared, that’s human, but being able to ignore that fear, means remembering what’s outside of your subconscious.”

Jason was silent, thinking over everything Lucy said.

~*~*~*~

Dick climbed into bed, “Need anything?”

Jason shook his head, twisting the ring on his left finger.

“Jay, are you okay? You haven’t been yourself at all. I know how badly this has messed you up, but—“

“I see you die every day,” Jason said quickly, forcing himself to communicate with Dick. There was no easy way to say it.

Dick was quiet, shocked. After a moment Dick slid over to Jason’s side of the bed. He took Jason’s hand and put it on his chest. 

Jason looked from his hand to Dick. His eyes became watery and glassy as he stared at his hand over Dick’s chest. He swallowed a lump in his throat as he closed his eyes and focused on Dick’s heartbeat. He was foolish to think he needed a shrink. Dick was enough. Dick didn’t need to say anything to collect Jason’s broken pieces and glue them back together. Jason thought over all the advice Lucy gave him, nothing was as useful as Dick’s silent understanding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own DC characters.

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own DC characters.


End file.
